Red Rivers of Blood-Part 2

Red rivers of blood, sweep me away,
Such sweet sensations of sadness just paid.
Too many feelings had clouded every thought.
Until I had died, a war had been fought.
Victory to depression, now I am dead.
Why couldn't I have kept a clear head?
Xenia was my life, my passion, my blood,
Yet she treated my heart no better than mud.
Zany, I was, I do admit,
And she was, too, a little bit.
But now it had cost me my sweet life,
Could I really have thought she'd become my wife?
Don't trouble yourself with the past, they always say,
Even if it's the thing that took your spirit away.
Forget it, everything is said and done.
God, my torment had finally begun.
Heaven this is not, Hell it may be,
Intense silence was all that covered me.
Just why did I have to do it? Now I'm deeply distraught.
"Killing myself wasn't worth it, I sincerely thought.
Letting all my feelings and pain drift away,
Might have been better if it wasn't to pay.
Now everything started to die down,
Only thing I could see was an eerie brown.
Perhaps, if there was a next time, I would behave.
Quiet Hell rang through my unforgiving grave.